Dining Road Trip

How far would you drive for perfect calamari? We’d drive all the way to Crabby’s Seafood Bar & Grill in Joplin.

Crabby’s Seafood Bar & Grill 815 W. Seventh St., Joplin 417-206-3474 11 a.m.–10 p.m., Mon.–Sat. 11 a.m.–9p.m., Sun. Smoking allowed in designated areas only. $$–$$$

Calamari is a hit-or-miss thing. The tiniest bit of overcooking, and the pieces of squid turn into chewy rubber bands more suitable for use as a napkin ring than for eating. Crabby’s Seafood Bar & Grill in Joplin does not serve rubber bands. On a recent trip there, my friend and I ordered it as a starter, and this calamari was surprisingly big and had absolutely perfect texture with just the right amount of not-too-greasy fried batter. Considering the hunger-building drive we’d just made, it was a great first taste of Crabby’s.

417 Magazine is based in Springfield, so when I get the chance to review restaurants outside of my neck of the woods—such as Crabby’s Seafood Bar & Grill in Joplin—that means one thing: road trip! My friend Allison and I took off from Springfield post-work one drizzly evening in her teeny little Pontiac Solstice. It’s new and very nice, with a handy OnStar feature that our misdirected souls had to resort to using after missing our exit (due to excessive chatter) and finding ourselves in Neosho. Whoops.

But we made it there. From the outside, Crabby’s is hard to read. The windowless, plain box of a building looks like something that could go either way: You might walk through the doors and be impressed, but it might be quite the opposite. Luckily, it is pretty cool inside. The place is dark and contemporary with a much hipper feel that we expected (and at least one super-adorable waiter). The walls are lined with a mishmash of different styles of paintings. An idyllic bit of countryside is next to a colorful abstract painting with large swooshes of thick color. In the hall leading back to the restrooms were my favorite paintings: Extra-large and extra-bold with subjects that would be at home in saltwater (such as giant crab claws) with rich color and thick brushstrokes.

It was still happy hour when we showed up—with a dinner crowd that filled more than half the restaurant (not bad for early on a Monday)—so we took advantage of the inexpensive bloody mary offer and some of that calamari. As for the bloody mary, I was pleased. I’m picky about bloody marys. If they aren’t sufficiently bold and spicy, I don’t want anything to do with them. The spicier of the two bloody marys at Crabby’s was like a red, peppery punch in the tastebuds. I loved it.

The dinner menu at Crabby’s has everything from a $7 Philly cheese steak sandwich to a $30 order of Alaskan king crab legs, with most entrées falling in
the high-teens and twenties. Allison ordered the ahi tuna steak, which came with wasabi mashed potatoes, sautéed spinach and roasted cherry tomatoes for $22. (It was the cute waiter’s recommendation.) The tuna steak won points for being the thickest one I’ve ever seen, but it was also marbled with tough fat that Allison had trouble cutting. It wasn’t like the melt-in-your mouth tuna steaks we’ve both had elsewhere. She said it tasted great, but she didn’t finish it partly because it was so difficult to eat.

I ordered the chipotle-peach barbecue swordfish filet for $18. Like Allison’s dish, it came with the same wasabi mashed potatoes, sautéed spinach and roasted cherry tomatoes. I loved this dish so much that my mouth is watering right now as I describe it. The swordfish was blackened and a lot spicier than I expected, which made a perfectly divine contrast to the subtly sweet chipotle-peach sauce that I asked for on the side, so I could dip it. This is what was so amazing about that sauce: It tasted like peaches! Not peach-flavored sugary sweetness, but real, perfect, delicious peaches. I wanted to drink it. It cut through the spiciness of the rub. And the rub added some Emeril-esque “bam” to the sweetness of the sauce. Scrumptious.

The sides were great, too. I am a huge fan of mashed potatoes-plus. (Plus anything, really. Wasabi added a nice kick.) The roasted tomatoes were juicy and sweet. The spinach was fresh and so bright green—perfectly wilted but not overcooked. We finished the meal by migrating to the bar half of the building and ordering a couple of drinks. Allison had the pumpkin pie cocktail made with nutmeg liqueur, which we didn’t even know existed. It came out thick and creamy and the color of pumpkin pie with a dollop of whipped cream on top. Adorable. And Allison said it was tasty too.

Joplinites or other hungry 417-landers passing through town should give this place a try. We were impressed. Start with calamari, end with pretend pie and try to resist licking every last drop of the chipotle-peach sauce off your probably empty plate.

About reviewing: Reviews are written by our editors as a service to readers, without advertising consideration. Visits are as anonymous as possible, and all expenses are paid by 417 Magazine. New restaurants are allowed four weeks to establish themselves before a first visit. To comment, please e-mail editor@417mag.com.