Skirting the Issue

Learn about a two-year quest to devour and conquer the infamous cheese skirt at Stockton’s Squeeze Inn.

Photo Cassie Darst

The halo of deliciousness surrounding this burger is called a cheese skirt, and you want it.

Question: Ever heard of a cheese skirt? If not, then you’re missing out on one of the best burgers I’ve ever eaten.

The Squeeze Inn, located in Stockton and owned by Ken and Ruth Noblett, is a little gem that was recommended to me by a subscriber one day when we were talking about food. The Nobletts are transplants from Sacramento, where they ran The Squeeze Inn for 15 years before they decided to retire to 417-land. In 2002, they opened on the Stockton square but had to find a new location after a tornado demolished the building and several others nearby.

I originally heard about The Squeeze Inn a couple years back while watching one of my favorite shows on the Food Network, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. (The Nobletts had already sold the Squeeze Inn in Sacramento and moved to Stockton when the restaurant was featured on Triple D). While watching them make the cheese skirt in that episode, my mouth started watering, and the vision of this burger was stuck in my head. Little did I know that a phone conversation with a subscriber would lead me to quenching my two-year obsession with this beckoning burger. I got the tip on August 13 and rounded up the troops for a road trip to Stockton for lunch on the 15th. In the car was my wife, Anna; my sister, Logan; her husband, Dave; and their 11-month-old daughter, Lucy.

As I walk in, I peek directly into the kitchen and catch a glimpse of The Squeeze with Cheese, and it is glorious. I’ve been inside the restaurant for 45 seconds and the smells have officially made my stomach start growling. The walls are filled with collector’s items, random memorabilia and framed stories written about The Squeeze Inn over the years. The Squeeze Inn name comes from the old location, where it was so crowded people literally had to squeeze in to get served.

The Squeeze with Cheese burger comes from Ken’s mom, who used to make the burgers for him and his brother when they were little. Here’s how it works: Once one side of the burger is cooked on the flat-top griddle, the cooks flip it and smothers it with shredded cheddar cheese. Then the cheese melts on top and all around the sides, forming an underbelly of crispy cheese, also known as the cheese skirt.

Our server turns out to be co-owner Ruth Noblett. After talking her up a while, we order four Squeezes with Cheese and two large fries to split. The burgers are ⅓-pound, 100 percent angus beef patties and probably another ¼-pound of cheese with standard dress, which includes lettuce, tomato, mayo, onion and pickles on a sesame seed bun for only $3.75. The large order of hand-cut, skin-on fries is $2.25 and well worth it. They have the perfect amount of crispy snap and starchy potato flavor to make you wish you would have ordered the small because you won’t be able to stop eating them. I opted to leave off the tomatoes; I don’t like them, and I had a feeling the burger was going to be messy enough. Juicy tomatoes would just be too much. That said, everybody else said the tomatoes were uber-flavorful.
After delivering the burgers with a toothpick directly in the center, Ruth instructed us to eat around the toothpick, so the burger would stay intact. As I salivated over my burger, I was faced with a momentous decision: Should I fold the crispy cheese skirt into my burger, or should I peel it off and enjoy it by itself? Hmm. I decided to peel it off and chow down on the extra crunchy morsels. Each bite was better than the last.

Then I dived into the booming burger. All the anticipation and build-up over the past two years was rewarded. My first bite got the crunch of the lettuce and onion, followed by a copious amount of cheese. Then the saltiness and creaminess of the mayo came in along with the tangy pickle slices, and then the flavor of the meat took over, and what I had left was a big fat smile on my face.

After the next 20 bites and 30 napkins, I was officially the winner. I finished first and am a member of the CPC (Clean Plate Club), and I’m ready for a nap. Luckily for me, my brother-in-law was driving, so Lucy and I took full advantage of a nap during the hour drive back to Springfield.

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