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Delicious Sin, Quick and Cheap

Fans of Whisler’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers know that a greasy burger is the most delicious thing on Earth.

Photo by Kevin O'Riley

The urban garden that is downtown Springfield is a complicated, slightly weedy flowerbed, but I’m happy to report that a new eatery is blossoming there, attracting hungry hamburger-lovers to its white screen door, spreading the pollen of simple, delicious taste among its fans.

Whisler’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers opened in mid-June in a tiny storefront on McDaniel Street. This literal hole in the wall offers counter service only, although a woman working the counter told me that once street construction on McDaniel is finished, Whisler’s might add a couple of sidewalk tables, “if the City lets us.” Since then, Whisler's has added a couple of charming café tables, and customers are constantly using them. Only open since June 18, Whisler’s has already made a name for itself as a near-perfect provider of the following:

Beef (fresh ground beef, shaped into patties, not frozen into discs, fried up on a griddle by an unfailingly cheerful small-businessperson, not a bored teenager)

Bacon (slices that fit a burger exactly, delivering bacony goodness with every bite)

Ham (of good quality)

Cheese (see “Ham,” above)

Minced red onion (crunchy and sharp)

Pickle chips (thickish)

Ketchup and mustard (red and yellow, nothin’ fancy)

Buns (basic)

Cheetos (baked)

Shakes (with Hershey’s syrup in them, or other flavors)

Root beer (caffeine-free, plus other soft drinks)

There are other peripheral treats, like cans of RockStar Energy Drink and candy bars, but people do not come to Whisler’s for these. They come for the burgers. Which are the only things Whisler’s serves, and they’re served cheaply. Less than $5 gets you two cheeseburgers, soda pop and a little bag of chips. Swap the soda pop for a shake, and your cost is $6 even, tax included.

It is also possible to enjoy burgers topped with ham (the Pig & Bull) or bacon (the Sow & Cow) or both (the Farm Burger). Did I mention the bag o’burgers? Five burgers for $6; add 75 cents for cheeseburgers. Sounds like an office party to me... or a neat weeknight dinner for a loft-couple in a hurry... or a good soaker-upper after a night on the town. Whisler’s knows the game; it’s open till 2 a.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights.

I have tasted all these anti-delicacies, and even a crème fraîche-slurper like myself is completely seduced. The essence of Whisler’s is an unabashed acceptance of grease as source of richness, umami and lip-smacking mouthfeel that is beloved by all. A Whisler’s burger (and especially a Whisler’s cheeseburger) is smallish, somewhere between White Castle and McDonald’s in size (but dwarfing them handily in flavor), and it is served wrapped in very thin wax paper, the kind that soaks up grease and becomes translucent within seconds after you walk out of the door. It’s (dietary) sin, quick and cheap, but who cares? Have a salad next time.

About Reviewing

Reviews are written by our editors and freelance writers as a service to readers, without advertising consideration. Visits are as anonymous as possible, and all expenses are paid by 417 Magazine. New restaurants are allowed at least four weeks to establish themselves before a first visit.