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CommentsMonday, May 12, 2008
Marmot on Monday
By Amy McMasters
Springfield blogger Amy McMasters is, among other things, web mistress of The Snarling Marmot blog. She sometimes refers to herself in the third person. Marmot on Mondays, her soon-to-be-famous weekly take on the lighter side of life in 417-land, is special to the 417 Blog. If you like what you read, please visit her website.La Marmot is not a fan of spring. Yes, yes, I know. The flowers are blooming, the temperature is warming, the grass is growing … it’s time to mow. Ugh.
This rodent is violently allergic to grass as well as being asthmatic. I turn into three of the Seven Dwarves when I mow: Sneezy, Itchy and Grass Coveredy. I think it goes without saying that cutting the grass is not one of my favorite activities.
I am also a professional procrastinator. By the time I got around to realizing my mower wouldn’t start, the grass was already tall enough to need a first pass with a machete. I wound up having to call professionals in who did a fabulous job and lulled me into a sense of my first mow being easy.
Did I mention I procrastinate?
Once again I waited around too long and didn’t realize I needed to mow until I was losing my dog (aka the Corgi that Ate Springfield) the minute he departed the back patio. That go-around, I had to perfect the patented Marmot Mower Maneuver where I had to tip the mower up and bring it down on the knee high grass. I only killed the mower three or four times in the process.
I vowed never again to procrastinate … tomorrow. And I didn’t this past week, because the weather frogs were predicting rain. Rain makes my grass grow and forces me to use the Marmot Mower Maneuver and become three of the Seven Dwarves.
“Hey Marmot,” Jody said into the phone, “You gonna mow today?”
“Hummarmphhh,” I said, as I was just waking up. Jody calls early because she works for a living.
“It’s already looking like rain.”
That woke me up. “Gotta go mow!” I clicked off the cell, jumped into mowing clothes, found the ball cap, slogged an entire mug of coffee and then noted that the clock read 7:30 a.m. A bit early to be cutting the grass.
I vowed to get even with Jody. But a half hour later, I was hard at it. Clouds chased me the whole time, the air felt heavy and wet. I raced my Marmot feet as fast as they’d go to get that grass cut before the rain hit.
I finished in less than an hour, record time for me. Relieved, I walked into the house, took a hot shower and relaxed because I was ahead of the game. I hadn’t procrastinated. I’d come in on time and was a different member of the Seven Dwarves: Happy.
However, two hours later it still hadn't rained, and I became a fifth dwarf: Grumpy.
—XOXO, Marmot
Read more by clicking here.
Posted on Monday, May 12, 2008 | Permalink
Reader Comments:
Congrats on becoming the premiere blogger of 417 land! :)