Ask Dylan

417 Magazine’s General Manager Dylan Whitaker is now your personal answer man. Every other month, he’s at your service—looking near and far to find the solutions to all your 417-land queries.

By Dylan Whitaker

Oct 2015


Where can I take my dog for fun?

If I told you that you could take your dog spelunking, is that something you would be interested in? Turns out you can bring your furry companion (as long as it’s on a leash) on the Fantastic Caverns cave tour. How cool is that? Thinking about a dog wearing a miner’s lamp makes me laugh. Back on track, if your dog has an aversion to stalactites and stalagmites (cave terms, no big deal), maybe take your pooch outdoors to Dogwood Canyon. It’s only $3.95 per dog, and your dog must be on a leash. Duh. You don’t want old Boudreau chasing after the wildlife. Dogwood Canyon has more than six gorgeous miles of paved and non-paved trails. Think about all the smells! 


Why can’t I find bass on local restaurant menus?

I know here in the Ozarks we are all about that bass, but it’s not that simple. You can’t just go down to Table Rock Lake, drop a lure, catch a largemouth bass and then sell it to a restaurant. There are rules and regulations, which are a good thing in this case. Do you really want to be eating fish that came from some rando selling it out of his trunk in a Walmart parking lot? It’s also a money issue. Fish like catfish and trout have been farmed for years, and those farmers have that system down to a science. Chef Wes Johnson from Metropolitan Farmer informed me that fish like bass are more expensive to farm because of the space needed for them to grow properly; the return on investment isn’t worth it. So for the time being, you will have to kiss that bass goodbye.


How do I become a dancing zombie?

Well, it’s easier than you think. If you want to participate in Thriller on C-Street on October 24, you have to join the C-Street Zombie Corps. It will actually take more time to put on your makeup and practice your zombie groan then it will to become a member of the C-Street Zombie Corps. Register online at and pay your $65, and you’re in. No dance experience is needed.     Not kidding. You might dance like an actual zombie, but once you join the Corps, the folks over at Dance With Me on Commercial Street will help you out. Owners Anne and Andy Walls are phenomenal dance instructors, and they will help work out your kinks during regularly scheduled “Thriller” dance classes leading up to the big “Thriller” dance on C-Street later this month.