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Life

Chad the Dad Talks Costumes

Chad Harris, a stand-up comic and regular contributor to The Mystery Hour, hits the stage as Chad (the Dad). He answers your questions about kids' Halloween costumes—from a dad’s perspective.

By Chad Harris

Oct 2019

Should we make costumes this year for Halloween?

Looking to one-up the neighbors and Pinterest your way down the Halloween orange carpet this year? It’s a super-easy and cost-saving way to have fun. I made a costume last year: For the mask, get some latex—I forget which kind. Watch a YouTube video and, for ghoul’s sake, don’t ask for any help. Before you start working the latex, you need a Styrofoam head to form it on—scary right?

Layer on the latex. This could take a day or so to build up the… Oh wait! You need the molding clay to build the features of your mask onto the Styrofoam head. Purchase molding clay, apply it to the severed—I mean Styrofoam—head and lather on latex. After the fourteen layers of latex set, grab special paints and paint the mask (just wing it).

Oh, when forming the clay, size it to your face. If the eye sockets are huge, grab white face paint for under the mask, then hit thrift stores to find the perfect tattered clothing. Ignore the smell and focus on the look. On the big night, get dressed and slap the mask on with spirit gum—no, it feels great all over your face. Drive to a party with the kids, consider it might be a kids-only costume party (it is). If it rains (it will rain), remove the mask so sticky, white face paint streams down your face.

Ask Chad the Dad

Ask Chad

Chad (the Dad) realizes it takes a village to raise a child. He maintains you should raise your own damn kids, but don’t mess it up for the rest of us. Send questions to standup@chadthedadharris.com

C(TD) claims not to provide helpful advice.