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St. Paddy’s Day Myths Debunked by Chad the Dad

Chad Harris, a stand-up comic and regular contributor to The Mystery Hour, hits the stage as Chad the Dad to answer questions from a dad’s perspective.

By Chad Harris

Mar 2019

How do I explain “wearing green” and “pinching” on St. Patrick’s Day?

It used to be if you wore anything but green on St. Patrick’s Day, you’d be open to pinching. I assume if you pinch anyone at school today, a kid is given five to 10 years with no time off for good behavior.  

I certainly don’t want anyone pinching my kids at school. Where did this tradition begin? Turns out the pinching started as a representation of crazy leprechauns who were up to no good and would “skin-squeeze” those who wore no green. The color of St. Patrick used to be blue, but Americans have absorbed the “holiday” and modified it. We even changed the color. Now we tell our children, “Wear green or you’ll get pinched,” but forget to tell them about the leprechaun part of the story, or the five to 10 years hard labor part or that blue was the hue you used to wear to avoid all of this. 

What can I do on a budget for Spring Break with my children?

Spring break to me is always a mix of relaxation and challenge. Here’s a list of cheap ideas that provide some level of challenge-relax-ation.

1. Start a week-long baking challenge with the kids: new dishes made Monday through Friday and judged by other family members.
2. Plan day trips to crazy places like suburbs you never visit.
3. Buy cheap drones and put on an “airshow” for the neighborhood.
4. Virtual Reality: Make and film your own VR.

ASK CHAD THE DAD

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Chad (the Dad) is a husband, father and comic who realizes it takes a village to raise a child, yet he maintains you should raise your own damn kids to make the world a better place. Send him questions at standup@chadthedadharris.com.

C(TD) is not a parenting expert, holds no relevant degrees and claims not to provide helpful advice.